FFfAW Challenge-Week of 8-01-2017
Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers hosted by PJ at
https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2017/07/31/fffaw-challenge-week-of-8-01-2017/
LIZA- THE DON’S DAUGHTER
This week’s photo prompt is provided by TJ Paris. Thank you TJ!
By Neel Anil Panicker
TIME: 4:30
EARLY MORNING:
PLACE : CORNER BEDROOM, THIRD FLOOR,
SUMER MANZIL,
OLD DELHI
The tears traverse the path of vengeance.
They stream down Liza’s face with great force; a fusillade of water bursts not unlike a long dormant volcano that finally erupts with brute centrifugal energy__hot molten lava seeping through the skin and burning the insides of her ravaged soul.
They slow down, ultimately forming into tiny little rivulets of salt and water that soak with the dank fairness of her soft skin, the usually crimson red cheeks turning several shades lighter to an almost creamish grey, as if consonance with and announcing their solidarity with her fractious emotions.
As a cool breeze blows in through the half opened windows, she sits, her legs crossed, arms entwined to her chest, all body limbs as if in solidarity with the melange of emotions that run helter skelter in her head that’s neatly wrapped under thick, lustrous half golden hairs.
Amidst utter silence, time floats by unhurriedly as Liza warms herself in the comfy comfort of her soda cum bed by the wall, her beautiful arms extending out of an off-shoulder olive brown nightie, the soft as a tissue hands cradling to her chest a life sized all-white teddy bear.
Both the teddy and its owner stare at the world outside through the netted slits of the Mughal era styled old world psychedelic windows, the latter pondering and wondering at the topsy turvy events that have marked her short two score life on Earth.
The blare of the loudspeaker from atop the minarets of the Jama Masjid pull her out of her reverie.
It’s the call for Azaan__the prayer of the faithful; a time to renew one’s pact with Allah, a time to pay her daily ritualistic obeisance; a time to ask Him for mercy, seek solace, and perhaps acquire guidance for the dangerous life changing mission that she has planned for herself.
#neelanilpanicker2017 #episode#partfourofdangerouslove #dangerouslove#fiction#333words
For PART ONE : https://neelwritesblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/27/neelwritesffphoningaroundfictionromance100words27072017/
For PART TWO:
PART THREE: https://neelwritesblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/30/neelwritessundayphotofiction03ofdangerouslove30072017/
the description of Liza is complete. I could visualize her in front of my eyes. I could hear the azan clearly.
Seems she is too comfortable in her SOFA cum bed besides the wall .
Am eager to know her next step, Neel.
http://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2017/08/life-boats.html
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Great descriptive writing! Great story Neel! I have a feeling this is over the maximum word limit of 175. Once in a while it is okay, but please put the amount of words at the end of your story. Thank you!!
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Oh No! What happened to her beloved? Was it his head enclosed in the box in her dad’s office? Very well written, Neel. You have got my curiosity racing.
The good parts aside, I guess you might have overshot the word limit. Also there is a small spelling error which I feel might have crept in by accidental key press. I’m talking about the ‘soda cum bed’
Cheers, Varad.
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My curiousity is piqued. You create a compelling story.
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Thanks
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