neelwrites/flash/fiction/FF/100words/19/06/2019

WRITTEN FOR https://rochellewisoff.com/2019/06/19/21-june-2019/

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Click the Frog and Hop on board. 

CLOSE CALL

By Neel Anil Panicker

“Hey, do I know you from St. Xavier’s?”

Derek looked up to find a man, late fortyish, his age, smiling quizzically at him.

‘The bastard, he had got him.’

Despite the wig, the false gait, the gold teeth, multi-hued glasses, Panama hat notwithstanding, school buddies still get you.

“I’m sorry. You’are mistaken. I am Karl Andrews.”

The man stopped, stared, glared, then mumbled, fumbled, then stumbled away.

Derek watched his receding back; heaved a sigh of relief.

His fingers cradled his Samsonite suitcase.

Inside, the diamonds remained huddled to a corner.

Now, all he’d  to do was get past security.

#neelanilpanicker #FF #flash #fiction #100words

24 thoughts on “neelwrites/flash/fiction/FF/100words/19/06/2019

  1. Hmm not a chance. I’ve watched a reality tv show “Border Security”. Busted! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. He may be over-disguised. To professionals, he’ll stand out as a man trying to conceal himself

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Maybe, he isn’t one. Or, maybe he is one who knows exactly what he is doing.

      Like

  3. It’s not an auspicious start for him. Hopefully his luck or plausibility will improve.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m sure the school chum was mumbling, “Right, Derek, be that way. Jerk.” as he walked away… I think Derek is going to get busted….

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Living dangerously, Derek. One of these days, you’re going to get caught!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dear Neel,

    I loved “mumbled, fumbled and stumbled…” Perhaps Derek needs a better disguise. Something not quite so obvious. 😉 Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  7. It’s always the people that know you who can trip you up. Good thing his old mate wasn’t working security. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. True. That way the story would have ended even before it had begun.

      Like

  8. I like your story, Neel. You have both a crime thriller and an anecdote about how schoolfriends always recognise you. That’s an ambitious attempt in 100 word flash fiction, and you succeed. I particularly enjoyed “The man stopped, stared, glared, then mumbled, fumbled, then stumbled away.” You showed delight in the word sounds, and that’s an endearing character trait.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am indeed thankful Penny for such an insightful feedback. You made my day.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. He’s certainly on edge! One hurdle jumped another to go.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Life’s all about hurdles, isn’t it, and about clearing them. Thanks Keith

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Well, all things aside, I must agree–Boarding School pals will pick you out of a crowd, no matter what! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Hoping he makes it through.

    Like

  12. The disguise is not helping him much!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Methinks he is trying too hard!
    I don’t have much faith he shall succeed!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Abhijit Ray

    Derek is smuggling diamonds. Good for him. His disguise also appears to be perfect. I hope he is not caught by the x-ray machine at the security gate.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. A good and well-written story, Neel. I last traveled with the “take your shoes off” requirement. It’s become even stricter now. He hasn’t got a chance with today’s security. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Think he’ll get caught soon. Great read.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. gahlearner

    That was funny and delightful. The poor chap doesn’t have a chance, but maybe, when in jail, he can pick up a trick or two from the pros.

    Like

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