A PAIR OF WELL TRAINED EYES
By Neel Anil Panicker
“Ok, it’s coming. Another five seconds and we enter the tunnel. Remember gentlemen, each coach’s inside for only 45 seconds.”
‘Add gentlelady, please.’
Nicholson looked towards the girl___her clenched teeth, clean square shaped mannish jaws and steely eyes had defiance plastered all over.
Watching him hesitate that wee bit, she rubbed it in, ‘Remember, old man. Your era’s just gone by. I’m a child of the #MeToo age.’
Nichols fingers tightened their grip on the 12 inch machette. Some other time, and it’d be her head on the train floor.
“Ok, gentlelady. But remember, I want the Queen, and that too alive.”
#neelanilpancker #fridayfictioneers #train #crime #100words #flash
Very suspenseful. There seems to be a lot of tension, reaction and speech/thought processes going on for the 5 seconds they’ve got. I loved your description of her.
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Thanks a lot. It means a lot, Sandra.
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Dear Neel,
From your description of her I can see why he’d just say gentlemen, although it doesn’t sound like any of them are ‘gentle’ anything. Well paced and tense.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks a gazillion. Your feedback is very educative. I always value them a lot, dear Rochelle.
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Great drive. I loved the description “clenched teeth, clean square shaped mannish jaws and steely eyes”
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Thanks a lot, Neil
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Scarylady more like! I wouldn’t want to cross her. Excellent Neel
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Neither would I. Thanks a loylt, Keith.
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Scary stuff!
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Indeed, very very scary. Thanks Hardy.
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That was a neat ending 🙂
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Indeed, very very scary. Thanks Hardy.
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Thanks so much, Reena.
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Good to see the Millennials making themselves useful to the older generation of train robbers! 🙂
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Yes, the baton may have passed on but the respect still remains. Thanks Kelly.
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Great suspense.
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Thanks Lisa
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A lot of tension in their interaction. She’s quite the “toughlady” and not be taken for granted. Well-written action scene, Neel.
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Thanks a lot, Brenda
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Interesting use of the “MeToo” bit. Great description of her square jaws and defiant aspect. Nicely done 🙂
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Not the travelling companions I would choose. Quite chilling!
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I am expecting a blood bath, Neel!
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Somehow I think they better have a good debriefing afterwards… remember that it’s teamwork that should be the guiding star for sinister acts.
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I sense a fight over leadership soon in this motley crew of miscreants. My money is on machete lady.
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What a terrible spot to be in.
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Absolutely
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A den, or rather, a compartment of assassins. Nice.
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Thanks Anurag
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Someone asking for right way of address in the middle of train robbery! Unusual priority.
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Oh yes and thanks Abhijeet
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Sexy stuff. Reminds me of Angelina Jolie in Gone in 60 Seconds.
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A modern girl with a weapon of # MeToo and she know where to use it. a scary story.
https://ideasolsi65.blogspot.com/2018/12/journey.html
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Yes, a very modern girl. Scary story too.
Thanks Kalps
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Very suspenseful. I would like to hear more!
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Nice tension and conflict in this.
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