neelwrites/heyccup,what’sup?/friayfictioneers/flash/shortstory/100words

HEY CUP, WHAT’S UP?

PHOTO PROMPT © Priorhouse

By Neel Anil Panicker

The cups, they wink at me; I wink back, conspiratorially.

They’re all empty; but, within the hour they would all fill up.

Tonight it’s their fate to be emptied and then refilled, and then emptied and refilled__again and again.

Shortly, they would converge, the crème de la crème of Kolkatan society, driven to this ultra uber watering hole like bees to honey pots.

I, on my part,  await their arrival, especially one person’s.

For me, he’s the guest of honour.

I await the moment when his lips would takes sips nee sip.

Just one is enough to empty his life.

#neelanilpanicker #Fridayfictioneers #crime #poison #100words

28 September 2018

14 thoughts on “neelwrites/heyccup,what’sup?/friayfictioneers/flash/shortstory/100words

  1. A poisoned cup, let’s hope it is picked by the right target.

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  2. Sinister! You tripped me up with the word “nee,” though. I think maybe you need “nay,” which is a denial. “Nee” in the English language refers to a woman’s maiden name; that is, she is Mrs. Sara Smith, nee Jones. Born a Jones.

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  3. Dear Neel,

    I echo Linda’s comments. Your use of ‘nee’ threw me off as did the adverb ‘conspiratorially.’ I think I see what you tried to do, but I’m not sure. Is this story told by one of the cups? As in the cups were plotting the man’s demise? Sinister plot. Be careful when using a word that you’re using it properly..as for adverbs, more often than not, less is more. I hope that makes sense to you. Creative concept in any event.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sounds like a man with a plan. A dastardly one at that.

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  5. Jelli

    Ohhh, that’s a cruel bite- er- sip. Love it!

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  6. Sounds like the cups are in on the plan!. Intriguing.

    Click to read my FriFic tale!

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  7. I must say (sorry Rochelle!), that I rather like ‘conspiratorially’. I can see the killer imagining the cups winking at him and, in his state of febrile excitement, winking back at them. It tells us a lot about his state of mind. There’s a lot of emotion invested in this killing, Your narrator isn’t worried about getting away – he wants to see the man die.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I wrote this from the conspirator perspective. It is his voice.
      I am glad you like my story. Thanks a lot, Penny.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Hopefully, the cup will not fall into the wrong hands. I am on the fence regarding “conspiratorially”. Occurring so soon in the piece makes the reader stop, putting us off balance somewhat. Not a good thing to do in your opening line. However, it does work in the overall feel of the piece, where everything is a bit off balance. Interesting take on the prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am glad my story has evoked so many divergent responses. At least it shows that there’s something that interests people. I thank you for your very insightful feedback, Jo.

      Liked by 2 people

  9. I enjoyed the winking cups – I love it when writers animate objects. Must be the child in me!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I like the winking conspiracy as well. The first line felt like the beginning of a rhyme (thats a good thing, in my book.)

    Im wondering how the presumed murderer will get the poison in just the one cup, designated for his guest of honor. Love that appellation and the “ultra uber” locale.

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