neelwrites/afallenlife/fridayfictioneers/100words/12/04/2018

A FALLEN LIFE

PHOTO PROMPT © Yarnspinnerr

 

By Neel Anil Panicker

These walls__the plaster all peeled off; the smell__dank, an all pervasive nauseatingly pungent odour so clinging that it threatens to lather me all over.

The roof above is a hallapolooza of cuts and bruises, the fan hanging down from it a twisted mass of archaic metal__ it’s fate worse than one facing the hangman’s noose.

Crestfallen, I slumber out.

A voice, doused in whisky besides last night’s gastronimic indulgences, croaks.

I stop dead in my track.

Crestfallen and now on my knees, I succumb to the lure, and slowly retrace my steps to resume what’s left of my debauched existence.

#neelanilpanicker #fiction #fridayfictioneers #100words

 

BY ROCHELLEWISOFF at 

22 thoughts on “neelwrites/afallenlife/fridayfictioneers/100words/12/04/2018

  1. Seems like they’ve hit rock bottom.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Hallapalooza” – a new one for me. Rolls off the tongue nicely. Good one.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Moon

    Rich writing, Neel. I feel terrible about your narrator’s sense of helplessness and loss of control over his life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, my narrator deserves all manner of sympathy that we can offer him now. He’s really in the dumps. Thanks for the compliment, Moon.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You really evoked a sense of despair. Very vividly done.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

  5. What a dreadful thing is alcohol addiction. Your graphic description of the rottenness of the surroundings mirrors and enhances our understanding of the narrator’s inner life. Good, powerful writing.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Wonderfully written piece which paints a sad and authentic image of despair when one is dependent on alcohol. A very important topic and a great story.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. An evocative write. The despair comes through.

    Like

  8. gahlearner

    Great descriptions, not that I want to see or smell what the narrator does, mind. For him, it only can go upwards from there.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh! Either a horrible night or an awful life that needs to be left behind.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Could be either, but methinks he’s been in this mess since a long time.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Mike

    Nicely written Neel, You created some fine images, I wanted to know more about this interesting character, but a hundred word is a hundred words. Sadly

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree that i have triggered a wave of curioisity and everyone would like to know more about my story’s character. Maybe, i would continue this, but then who knows because it’s all in the realm of time that we have no control over. Thanks Mike for the sentiments, nevertheless.

      Like

  11. Dear Neel,

    You depicted his miserable situation very well. I feel like I need to brush my teeth and take a shower.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  12. Despair, defeat, rot and decay. Perfectly depicted, hopelessness drawn in rich words.

    Like

  13. Truly an immense sense of desperation in this piece

    Like

  14. No escaping from that life, even though part of him would like to, it seems. Grimy and grimly described – well done Neel

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: