12 January 2018


PHOTO PROMPT © Victor and Sarah Potter

By Neel Anil Panicker

The hours ebbed by and so did her life.

Lathered in her own blood and bile, Shrishti lay on the floor, a sorry near comatose figure.

On the third day, she stirred. And when the bones of her frail body rattled like an ancient coal engine bogey gone careening off the rails, she cried her lungs out in pain, a heart wrenching wail that birthed and died within the four walls.

It was then that she eyed the spider’s web, and her ears were once again assaulted by his words: ‘Remember baby, there’s no escape. You’re mine and mine alone.’

©2018neelanilpanicker #FridayFictioneers #fiction #flash #shortstory #100words

34 thoughts on “neelwrites/thetrap/fridayfictioneers/fiction/sshortstory/100words/11/01/2018

  1. Unfortunately, this could very well be the truth of so many women’s lives across the world.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I loved the bones rattling like a steam train bogey

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Moon

    The trap is real for so many women. That’s a very tragic tale, written beautifully.
    I admire that you are writing about issues facing women, especially in our part of the globe.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a lot, Moon. I like to write on issues that are close to my heart and/or disturb me a lot.


  4. Such a graphic tale of suffering.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I agree with what Moon said. It shows great sensitivity and humanity.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You have told a tale of every woman’s worst nightmare, Neel. Your story made me shudder, which shows how well written it is. An excellent choice of words to paint a stark setting and convey the victim’s sense of physical and emotional pain within her hopeless situation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am speechless. Coming from you i take it as a huge compliment. Thanks a lot, Sarah.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Dale

    Brilliant job of bringing us in to feel her pain. So descriptive and awful (in a good writing way)
    And way too true for way too many…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very true. A lot of women undergo such pain or even more.
      Thanks a lot, Dale.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Sounds like she made some bad choices.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Dear Neel,

    The feeling of entrapment and helplessness are tangible. I could feel her pain. Well done…very well done, indeed.



    Liked by 2 people

  10. Great description Neel. You could feel and hear this piece. Horrible position to be in – trapped.


  11. Devastating… predators on women are many

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Oh dear. I’m going to bed soon, with that picture in my head. What an excellent description you wrote!


  13. ugh – hope she gets help (and nice fiction, N)


  14. I was left with one word, Neel, WOW …. a very shocking story.
    Isadora 😎


  15. Great description, Neel. I hate it when someone dies slowly and no one checks on them. People are so solitary these days. Others think they’re interfering and no one checks. I especially hate it when children are involved. Good writing, Neel. —- Suzanne


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