FRIDAY FICTIONEERS
Hosted by ever trustworthy ROCHELLEWISOFF at https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/10/04/13-october-2017-2/
RIDING THE WAVES
PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz
By Neel Anil Panicker
Wine glass in hand, Sandra stood at the deck, scanning the horizon.
Below, the moon played truant, drawing curvaceous lines on the limpid waters.
Her pear shaped eyes gleamed at the memory of the weekend tryst.
The serendipitous ‘bumping’, the ‘coy’ smiles, the adrenaline high hot chases, the reluctant ‘surrender’, the furtive romancing, the midnight rendezvous, the frothy waves, the joyous splash, and the sudden crash__she had enjoyed every moment of it.
The siren blast broke her reverie.
On the wharf awaited a young man holding a bouquet.
Sandra got up with a sigh.
Time to meet Victim number 19.
©neelanilpaniker2017 #Friday Fictioneers #fiction #100words
Very nicely done
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Nice descriptions here Neel.
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Dear Neel,
Quite a lot of description to put us on the boat with her. Love the twist at the end.
May I toss out a writing tip? Your decision to agree of course. You say her pear shaped eyes gleamed. This is from her point of view, right? While she may know the shape of her own eyes, she isn’t seeing them, unless she’s standing in front of a mirror. So she herself doesn’t see them gleam. One of the things I learned in a multitude of workshops about point of view is that if the the POV person can’t see it, it’s not happening. I know that’s a lot said for a small nitpick. (You may delete this part if you like.)
At any rate, on the whole, I like your story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Nice spin in the end. You built it up nicely.
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Wow! Great descriptions, Neel and a great surprise ending .
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That was so sexy… till, of course, she showed her true self…
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wow – the last line was chilling – victim??
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Haha! Good twist at the end, Neel. Should have seen that coming though.
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I was enjoying the descriptions until her real nature showed up. Thanks for taking me on the journey 🙂
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Interesting twist.
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You set that up just perfectly. Great twist.
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Oh, a bit of a “black widow” in this piece. Lovely descriptions.
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