Friday Fictioneers
Hosted by the charmingly talented grand doyenne of flash fiction Rochelle
at https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/07/26/28-july-2017/
For other more wonderful stories click on 
PHONING AROUND
PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll
By Neel Anil Panicker
GENRE:ROMANCE
“You calling from jail?”
From my cell. You see, I don’t break my promises.
“But isn’t that risky? Also illegal? I mean you could get caught.”
I’m bowled. It’s much riskier wooing the only child of an underworld don, one who is infamous for roasting alive his enemies in a hot oil tumbler.
“My dad has never gone to jail.”
Maybe, but he sure can send me to hell.
“I will join you.”
Where? In hell?
“No stupid. In heaven. We’ll make heaven, our own heaven on this Earth.”
‘You are such a sweet talker.’
“And you are a smooth operator.”
(neelanilpanciker2017 #FF #fiction #shortstory #100words
neelwritesblog 
They have met their match…
LikeLiked by 1 person
For sure. A made for each other couple. Thanks Reena.
LikeLike
Dear Neel,
A match made slightly lower than heaven. 😉 He is, as we say, skating on thin ice. I’d love to know where this romance goes. Good piece.
Shalom,
Rochelle
PS On a grammatical note on that last line you might want to change You a smooth operator to You’re. Aside from that, great play on words. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Rochelle. I guess i will take it forward and see where these two lovelies go from here.
I deliberately wrote it as “you a smooth operator”. After all a mafia don’s only child who has the guts and is foolish enough to get into a tango with a gangster needs to speak like this. What do you say , Rochelle?
LikeLike
It still feels stilted. I see what you’re trying to do but her speech through the rest of the piece doesn’t indicate that. ..Unless you say something like “You da smooth operator” Does that make sense?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m not convinced of the longevity of this relationship, but hey… it sounds hot enough.
LikeLiked by 2 people
The hotness quotient is high enough. Thanks Sandra.
LikeLike
I feel it won’t end well, like a modern day Romeo and Juliet.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, that’s what i was aiming at. Am glad that came across. Thanks Lian.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not sure what kind of heaven it will be! Nice one neel.
Click to read my FriFic
LikeLiked by 1 person
Our ideas of heaven and hell are all very different, aren’t they? Thanks for the appreciation, Keith.
LikeLike
That would be spot on, Rochelle. Thanks again.
LikeLike
A jail bird romancing a Don’s daughter. A true Bolllywood story. Well crafted.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This can only end badly for both of them … Nicely told, Neel and let’s hope they attain their happily ever after 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, that’s the fond hope. Thanks Lynn.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My pleasure 🙂
LikeLike
Unless the guy is capable of bending the bars and escaping and beating up dozens of goondas he’s not gonna end up having a good life. Well written, Neel. I’m sure the wall behind the phone would have inspired you towards a jail setting,
LikeLiked by 1 person
It looks like tough times ahead for both of them.
THANKS Varad.
LikeLike
Indeed… love can lead to hard time!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true, Laurie.
LikeLike
I have written the second part of this story following the requests of a lot many readers. Here it is. Thanks, Neel.
https://neelwritesblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/28/neelwrites3linetalesphoningaround-part2fiction28072017/
LikeLike
Neel, you write very interesting dialogue. It’s fresh from a linguistic point of view. Keep that going! Good story also.
Five out of five Sade’s.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That such a wonderful comment to hear. Thanks for the appreciation. I shall strive to better myself, always. Thanks again, Kent.
LikeLike
Only a don’s daughter will be unfazed if her beau calls from jail, I guess 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely. That is a neat observation. Thanks for dropping by
LikeLike
I get the feeling this romance is going to end badly for this pair of sociopaths made in heaven (hell).
LikeLiked by 1 person
A Don’s daughter and a convict….. seems a replay of a Bollywood. tough times ahead of the lovers.
http://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2017/07/the-sunday-call.html
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’ve created a good dialogue. She sounds like a total optimist, not much of a realist. He sounds like a bit of a loser, but ever hopeful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is a right summation. Thanks for the appreciation.
LikeLike
Not many guys would risk romancing this girl, for sure! He must love her a lot.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He does. Thanks a lot.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It sounds like this guy is flirting with disaster, but hey, it’s that what romance is all about? Great story, Neel.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, a certain kind of guy loves that and that’s what makes them dangerously attractive. Thanks a lot for the appreciation, Rgayer.
LikeLike