Friday Fictioneers

 Hosted by the charmingly talented grand doyenne of flash fiction Rochelle


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PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll

By Neel Anil Panicker


 “You calling from jail?”

From my cell. You see, I don’t break my promises.

“But isn’t that risky? Also illegal? I mean you could get caught.”

I’m bowled. It’s much riskier wooing the only child of an underworld don, one who is infamous for roasting alive his enemies in a hot oil tumbler.

“My dad has never gone to jail.”

Maybe, but he sure can send me to hell.

“I will join you.”

Where? In hell?

“No stupid. In heaven. We’ll make heaven, our own heaven on this Earth.”

‘You are such a sweet talker.’

“And you are a smooth operator.”

(neelanilpanciker2017 #FF #fiction #shortstory #100words



33 thoughts on “neelwrites/FF/phoningaround/fiction/romance/100words/27/07/2017

  1. They have met their match…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. For sure. A made for each other couple. Thanks Reena.


  2. Dear Neel,

    A match made slightly lower than heaven. 😉 He is, as we say, skating on thin ice. I’d love to know where this romance goes. Good piece.



    PS On a grammatical note on that last line you might want to change You a smooth operator to You’re. Aside from that, great play on words. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Rochelle. I guess i will take it forward and see where these two lovelies go from here.
      I deliberately wrote it as “you a smooth operator”. After all a mafia don’s only child who has the guts and is foolish enough to get into a tango with a gangster needs to speak like this. What do you say , Rochelle?


      1. It still feels stilted. I see what you’re trying to do but her speech through the rest of the piece doesn’t indicate that. ..Unless you say something like “You da smooth operator” Does that make sense?

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m not convinced of the longevity of this relationship, but hey… it sounds hot enough.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The hotness quotient is high enough. Thanks Sandra.


  4. I feel it won’t end well, like a modern day Romeo and Juliet.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, that’s what i was aiming at. Am glad that came across. Thanks Lian.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Not sure what kind of heaven it will be! Nice one neel.

    Click to read my FriFic

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Our ideas of heaven and hell are all very different, aren’t they? Thanks for the appreciation, Keith.


  6. That would be spot on, Rochelle. Thanks again.


  7. A jail bird romancing a Don’s daughter. A true Bolllywood story. Well crafted.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This can only end badly for both of them … Nicely told, Neel and let’s hope they attain their happily ever after 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, that’s the fond hope. Thanks Lynn.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Unless the guy is capable of bending the bars and escaping and beating up dozens of goondas he’s not gonna end up having a good life. Well written, Neel. I’m sure the wall behind the phone would have inspired you towards a jail setting,

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It looks like tough times ahead for both of them.
      THANKS Varad.


  10. Indeed… love can lead to hard time!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I have written the second part of this story following the requests of a lot many readers. Here it is. Thanks, Neel.


  12. Neel, you write very interesting dialogue. It’s fresh from a linguistic point of view. Keep that going! Good story also.

    Five out of five Sade’s.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That such a wonderful comment to hear. Thanks for the appreciation. I shall strive to better myself, always. Thanks again, Kent.


  13. Only a don’s daughter will be unfazed if her beau calls from jail, I guess 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely. That is a neat observation. Thanks for dropping by


  14. I get the feeling this romance is going to end badly for this pair of sociopaths made in heaven (hell).

    Liked by 1 person

  15. A Don’s daughter and a convict….. seems a replay of a Bollywood. tough times ahead of the lovers.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. You’ve created a good dialogue. She sounds like a total optimist, not much of a realist. He sounds like a bit of a loser, but ever hopeful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is a right summation. Thanks for the appreciation.


  17. Not many guys would risk romancing this girl, for sure! He must love her a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. It sounds like this guy is flirting with disaster, but hey, it’s that what romance is all about? Great story, Neel.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, a certain kind of guy loves that and that’s what makes them dangerously attractive. Thanks a lot for the appreciation, Rgayer.


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