neelwrites/FF/manchestermonster/99words/24/05/2017

A fictional story relating to the tragic Manchester bombing.

Written for Friday Fictioneers Challenge hosted by Rochelle.

26 May 2017

MANCHESTER MONSTER (99 words)

PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll

By Neel Anil Panicker

With much trepidation she steps into Chelsea’s room.

‘Mama, I’m a grown up girl. No entering my room, ok?’

The words a command, spoken with the authority of one stepping into her teens.

The guitar gapes at her, its case open.

Hours before it was strumming Dangerous Weapon.

A half eaten sandwich, its hardened crust pointing heavenly, a left over from last night’s indulgence, mocks her from the floor below.

‘Chels, you need to be more organised. How dirty is your room’.

She realises she’s speaking to an empty room.

“I’m off to Manchester, for the concert of my life.”

©neelanilpanicker2017 #FF #fiction #shortstory

52 thoughts on “neelwrites/FF/manchestermonster/99words/24/05/2017

  1. Dear Neel,

    I think we’ll see a few Manchester stories this week. 😦 I felt the mother’s emptiness and grief in this piece. The room sounded like my sons’ when they were teens.
    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Dear Rochelle, you’ve always been a good friend. I am thankful that my story touched a raw chord and resonated with your life’s experiences. Yes, we are seeing a lot of stories around the Manchester carnage. A horrific tragedy, a black spot for mankind. Hope better sense prevails.

      Like

      1. Dear Neil,

        Brilliant and impacting last line to an emotionally charged story. It says it all. We can only hope better sense prevails but I have my doubts.

        Shalom,

        Rochelle

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks Rochelle. And i do hope and pray that better sense prevails. When everything else falls hope becomes the only survival piece to hold on to.

        Like

  2. Tragic. So many different facets on this awful event.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Shocking and heart-breaking. Difficult to put into words what these parents must be experiencing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely, A bestial act of nature. Needs to be condemned in the strongest terms possible.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Poignant and quite sad, Neel. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Indeed, very sad. Thanks for the appreciation, Hardy.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Michael

    A topical story, the tragedy at Manchester was barbaric. It is pure evil to kill any child anywhere.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. So sad. I can only imagine the parents’ grief.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sad indeed. Their grief is untold and immense. Thanks Clare.
      Somehow i found myself not one but two stories on the Manchester tragedy. This one is an entirely different take, a 100 word piece that i wrote as part of another challenge. Here is the link and do read and drop in your comments. Thanks, Neel.

      https://neelwritesblog.wordpress.com/2017/05/24/neelwrites100wordwednesdaymanchesterbombing24052017/

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Reluctant to press the like button as such a senseless act but really well written.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know Louise. This is a moment for all of us, free, peaceful and rightful thinking sane men and women around the world to put their feet down and condemn their most barbaric of acts in the strongest manner possible. Thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I still haven’t got my head around events in Manchester. That it happened in Manchester. I have been writing on my blog against terrorism for the last couple of years through a group called 1000 voices of compassion. I also think it’s important to remember the good people who helped at the scene…the homeless man who pulled nails from people and taxis driving people free of charge. It doesn’t compensate those who lost loved ones, especially children. Yet, you have one evil terrorist and millions around the world speaking out in love. We have to keep that up.
    xx Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with you Rowena. We have to carry on the good because it is ultimately the good that will triumph.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I had an interesting footnote to that, Neel. On Friday, my 11 year old daughter walked into a pole and her glasses broke and cut a gash in her eyebrow, which required stitches. This happened when she was on the way to meet me and another Mum found her and took her to the medical centre and called me to find out she was alright. The staff were lovely as well. It was very moving for me to experience such love in action and community coming together, especially after events in Manchester. I really do feel that there’s more good than bad in humanity over all.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. I think many of us this week will look at the wreckage in the prompt… and dwell upon the carnage in Manchester. Well done Neel.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Sandra. These are very painful times.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Guys, there you go again, chronicling another parent in pain! Guess Manchester colored us all this week.
    And this one is about the prelude!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, a lot of stories about the tragedy. Thanks

      Liked by 1 person

  11. What a I can sense the most is the guilt of the mother after such parting words… one thought that have popped up in my mind is that of the Danish girl of 17 that was convicted for planning to blow up schools… she moved from being a fan like the girls to one who was ready to kill them…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, i recall that. Thank Bjorn.

      Like

  12. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover

    Beautifully written. There are so many lines I love but my favorite is “The words a command, spoken with the authority of one stepping into her teens.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a lot. Have a nice day.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. That was very kind of you. Thanks a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I’ve read only half-a-dozen stories, and the theme today is clear. We are all horrified and appalled and–I admit it–angry beyond words at this evil attack on children.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We are all horrified. Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. We all had the same obscenity in mind this week.

    Like

    1. Yes, that is true. The sorry event has affected us all, Liz.

      Like

  15. A well written tale, Neel, inspired by such devastating events. The world just seems to be one tragedy after another sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The world has become a very sad place. Thanks for the appreciation of my story, Lynn.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Well written and heart-breaking.

    Like

  17. So terribly sad…

    Like

    1. Yes. Thanks for the reading.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. So sad. The events of this week are in many ways beyond words, but you did a good job here.

    Like

  19. That is just so sad D: You have done well with this story, Neel. I’m feeling strapped for words and am still having difficulty getting my head around what happened. To see so many young lives cut short…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, all this is really very bad and sad. Thanks Sarah for the appreciation, though.

      Liked by 2 people

  20. Dale

    Neel, each week you get better and better (and were already good at the start)! This was a so-well told tale. And as the mother of teen boys who hasn’t seen the colour of their floor in months… I so know what this mom is seeing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can see a lot of pain and anguish all over the internet about this deadly despicable act of violence. Hope better sense prevails.
      You have been very kind Dale with your comments. Thanks a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dale

        Only when they deserve it…☺️

        Like

  21. a timely piece. it seems manchester is in everybody’s mind this week.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. It’s heartrending, a parent’s worse nightmare. Good writing, Neel. —- Suzanne

    Like

  23. A half eaten sandwich, its hardened crust pointing heavenly This line says so very much. Your piece leaves a bit of a hole in my heart. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Such a tragdey this past week in Manchester. You’re portayal of parenting a teen
    is spot on. Nicely done …
    Isadora 😎

    Like

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