neelwrites/FF/quarry/99words/03/05/2017

THE QUARRY (99 words)

PHOTO PROMPT © Sandra Crook

By Neel Anil Panicker

Richard peered through the telescopic lens at the hotel room across the road.

‘Show up, man. Gotta job to do…need to kill you,’ he muttered under his breath.

A sense of ennui began to creep over him. Waiting did that to him. Like a python it worked on his body, languidly yet surely clasping him in its grip, constricting his breath, beads of sweat trickling down his swarthy face.

A green light flashed on his phone.

He picked it up.

“He’s dead. Shot in his sleep. Hope it’s you.”

In one moment Richard had turned from hunter to hunted.

©neelanilpanicker2017 #FF #fiction

Written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by the super talented ultra sweet Rocehelle at  https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/05/03/5-may-2017/

 

 

55 thoughts on “neelwrites/FF/quarry/99words/03/05/2017

  1. Dear Neel,

    Good mixture of tension and boredom. Then you flipped the story on its ear. Love the last line. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 3 people

  2. A great take. Enjoyed the descriptions.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wonderfully crafted.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Bit of a twist at the end. Nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Lain. Glad you liked the story.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. The hunter becomes the hunted! A greta and unexpected twist there, Neel

    Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure Neel 🙂

        Like

  6. Nice twist at the end, Neel.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. That’s when you start to see that red dot moving up your body… from hunter to hunted… love the twist.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Loved the description in this. The ending had me gasp! Well written.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Claire. Glad you liked it.

      Like

  9. Great twist at the end of this thriller scene. A thorough word picture of the killer. Good writing, Neel. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. Glad you liked it, PATRICIA.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Great twist there.
    This does call for a follow up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, and yes, very shortly i will come with a followup.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Well written, and an excellent twist.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Sarah. So glad you found it good.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Quite a turnaround. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Dale

    So very well done, Neel! Love how you mixed the ennui with the sudden tension. Great descriptions, for sure!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so very glad you liked my story, Dale. Thanks a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Thanks a lot, Dale. I have written the next two parts of this as well. Kindly read them and give your valuable comments. Thanks again.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dale

        Of course I will!

        Like

  14. Great description of boredom, though I can’t work out who killed Richard’s intended victim.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Liz. As to who killed Richard’s prey is something that is the twist that i intend to tackle in a sequel to this. Thanks.

      Like

  15. Great build-up … nicely done.
    Isadora 😎

    Like

  16. poor guy. damned if he did, damned if he didn’t.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, kind of a Catch 22 situation.

      Like

  17. I believe you could make quite the novel of this. Does Richard survive and how. Don’t know yet it we should hope hr does or not.

    Like

    1. Yes, Christine. I have written and posted the next twp parts of this. Do read and submit your valuable comments. Thanks.

      Like

  18. Wonderful, especially the last line. It has the seeds of a novel!

    Like

    1. Yes, i believe so. Thanks a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Yes, i am working on it. Please check the next two parts that i have posted. Thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Nice twist Neel. It seems whoever killed his intended victim is now after him.

    Like

    1. Yes,he’s at the receiving end now. Thanks Fatima.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Yes, absolutely. Thanks, Fatima

      Like

  20. I also liked the image of the python. Great twist at the end. Didn’t see that coming!

    Like

    1. Thanks a lot Amie. I have been receiving a lot of appreciation for the python. Lucky guy, yeah.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. mandibelle16

    I’ve been reading back and your third part from Sunday! Exciting. I’m wondering if Richards boss is trying to frame him for the hit. He was there had his gun but didn’t shoot the victim. To me, seems like he could be the ‘fall’ guy for the real assassin. Great stuff!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Mandi for having read all three parts of THE QUARRY. Yes, it looks like a set up. Someone has framed him. Who? Why? That is something my MC needs to discover. I am hoping he asks the right questions, meets the right people and gets the right answers soon.
      Thanks again.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Great descriptions. Sounds like he’s in trouble

    Like

    1. Yes, that’s what it sounds like. Thanks Michael. I have written parts 2 & 3 of this. Do go through them and honour me with your most valuable comments. Thanks again.

      Like

  23. Sounds like he’s a bit too nervous to be an assassin. Great job.

    Like

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