neelwrites/fiction/shortstory/FF/100words/23/02/2017

Time for another entry in Friday Fictioneers challenge, courtesy of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. If you want to give it a try, check the info on her blog. 100 words more or less, inspired by a photo, here we go….

PHOTO PROMPT © Sarah Potter

PHOTO PROMPT © Sarah Potter

HELL AND BACK   (100 words)

By Neel Anil Panicker

“Rafiq Shah, age 35, resident of Baramulla, Kashmir, is found not guilty of laying bombs leading to the deaths of 62 innocents on October 29, 2005. He is to be set free”.

Hobbling on one foot, Rafiq peeps out through his window, gazing with half-sunken eyes at the snowy umbrella outside.

‘Will the honourable judge also return his youth, help erase twelve hellish years of belt beatings, rod insertions and urine drinking sessions? Will he restore him his paradise?’

Watching glistening snowflakes as they feather dropped on silent homes, the former student of Arabic literature broke into a half smile.

©neelanilpanciker2017 #fiction # shortstory #100words

Written for

https://rochellewisoff.com/

 

32 thoughts on “neelwrites/fiction/shortstory/FF/100words/23/02/2017

  1. Dear Neel.

    Your story brought me to tears. Even after what he went through, the story ends on a note of hope. Beautifully written.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    PS One little nitpick…”Hobbling on one feet…” feet is plural. It should be ‘hobbling on one foot’ (Pesky English…my full admiration to anyone writing in a language that’s not their first.)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oops! I slight oversight. You can take it from that English is my first and in fact only language.
      I am glad my story moved you to tears. It was a tale waiting to be told and happy it struck the right emotional chord. Thanks, dear Rochelle, for your appreciation.

      Like

  2. Good work Neel, I could see the bitterness in his thoughts, and the touch of hope that he has finally been vindicated.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Lain for the appreciation.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. gahlearner

    Twelve years of torture and imprisonment without a trial? I wouldn’t be surprised if his half-smile isn’t an innocent one any more. That’s how you radicalize people.

    Like

    1. gahlearner

      Oh, and I forgotto add, sad and poignant story, well done.

      Like

      1. That/s how radicalization takes birth. Thanks.

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Dale

    Twelve years of torture for a crime he didn’t commit. That he will not allow the bitterness to ruin the rest of his life is the best part. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, in fact that is the reality in several states in India and other Asian countries as well. Without fail, jail without bail. I would like to believe that Rafiq doesn’t turn bitter and turns over a new leaf and begins life anew minus all the bitterness and the pain. Thanks Dale for your wonderful appreciation. You keep the writer in me going.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dale

        So awfully sad…

        Like

  5. Lynn Love

    A realistic mix of pain with a hint of much needed hope. Well done Nell for producing such a moving tale

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Lynn, your comments are much appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. michael1148humphris

    Your story ? Makes one feel for all those individuals falsely imprisoned

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, Michael there are a whole lot out there slapped with false charges and languishing in jails with no hopes of a release, early or late.

      Like

  7. I could and couldn’t imagine a life like that, then exonerated. Twelve years of brutality. Amazing. Excellent work, Neel!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh! the excesses of the judicial system with its inherent flaws and glaring omissions. Thank you for your appreciation.

      Like

  8. Just the right dose of detail. We can imagine the rest and feel for his predicament. The snowflakes falling and how he notices such a detail makes me think he’ll recover.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, i am sure he will pick himself up soon and start a new life full of optimism and energy. Thanks Jane.

      Like

  9. Can you ever give a life back… maybe his love of literature will bring him back a bit from hell…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, that’s what the hope is. Thanks Bjorn.

      Like

  10. i wonder if the half smile meant he beat the system and he wasn’t innocent at all.

    Like

  11. Dear Plaridel, that could be plausible but i would like to veer more towards the possibility that he is innocent.

    Like

  12. I think this is easily your best story yet Neel! Hard hitting and succinctly narrated.

    Like

  13. You have described his pain so well! Lovely! I’ll be glad to have your feedback on my take on the prompt. You can find it here:
    https://yuhublogger.wordpress.com/2017/02/28/freezing-to-keep-warm/

    Like

    1. Thanks, i will definitely read and comment on your contribution.

      Liked by 1 person

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